I was about 17 years old. At a rock festival somewhere near Madona, in a light beer-induced haze, I met a guy. He \u201ccaught\u201d me with an unusually pure and heartfelt energy\u2014the kind that scared me the most, because I always felt that I would end up hurting boys like that. And that\u2019s exactly what happened with him. I truly feel sorry about it\u2014but that\u2019s not the point this time\u2026\n\nHe invited me on a pilgrimage to Aglona. Me! Dressed in black, a skeptic to the bone, with a face powdered ghost-white, black-rimmed eyes, a chain at my side\u2014a proper lost teenager, disconnected from herself and the world, unknowingly doing everything possible to destroy herself.<\/p>
But I said yes\u2026 I don\u2019t even know why. We had to walk about 200 kilometers. We had to carry our backpacks ourselves the entire way, and we slept in schools\u2014if we were lucky, there were showers. I borrowed a big army canvas backpack from my grandmother\u2019s neighbor and stuffed 3 Pilsner beers at the very bottom\u2014because, well\u2026 I was a skeptic, a non-believer, but hey, it was an adventure, right?\n\nMy feet were in shreds. The yellow sneakers were a terrible choice for such a hike. The backpack was heavy, it rubbed and dug into me, and to top it off, I also carried a red guitar\u2014because it felt cooler that way.\nI don\u2019t remember most of the details or people in our group. But I do remember our warm-hearted group leader, M\u0101r\u012bte, one girl from the Al\u016bksne area, and a very tall, skinny man who could predict the weather and \u201cnegotiate with the heavens\u201d to stop the rain.\nAnd, of course, I remember the guy who invited me.\n\nWe walked for over a week, every single day, experiencing the full range of emotions\u2014from laughter to hours of silence, from deep sharing to full-on hysterical crying in the meadows of Latgale. And we made it. On our own.\n\nI will never forget the moment I walked through the large gates of the Aglona Basilica.\nSomething inside me changed\u2014profoundly.\nIt felt as if I could feel a light glowing within me.\nThat illuminated moment was slightly clouded by the crowd and the exhaustion.\nI remember above the entrance to the basilica itself, there was a balcony where men in black robes spoke into microphones, addressing thousands of people\u2014pilgrims.\nNewly arrived groups were being welcomed\u2014ours too.\n\nSuddenly, someone from the group nudges me forward and says,\n\u201cYou have to speak!\u201d\nAnd I freeze.\nThen the priest asks me:\n\u201cHow are you feeling?\u201d\n\nAnd there I stand\u2014the most non-believing teen imaginable, three beers in my backpack, standing on a balcony next to priests and fellow pilgrims, with thousands of people listening to me\u2026\nAnd all I can say is:\n\n\u201cI\u2019m exhausted and I stink. I just want a shower!\u201d\n\nAnd suddenly, the entire crowd bursts into laughter.\n\nWell done, Linda. Well done.\nMy speech of the century\u2014words of inspiration for pilgrims\u2014broadcast from the balcony of Aglona Basilica.<\/p>
I threw the beers away in the trash bins near the church.\nI rewarded myself with a silver rosary\u2014worn as a ring.\nI sent an apology text to my mom, for the way I had acted, for the pain I had caused her.\n\nAnd I met God.\n\nI discovered Him in every little countryside homestead in Latgale,\nwhere elderly women offered apples to the pilgrims,\nserved fruit foam and warm milk,\nand gently said, \u201cPlease don\u2019t take it the wrong way\u2014it\u2019s all we have.\u201d\n\nBack then, I wasn\u2019t familiar with such pure love\u2014\nlove for life and for people.\nI had never heard words so honest,\nspoken by old, wise souls that made my heart soften without even realizing it.\nAnd that disbelieving teen\u2026 began to believe.\nIn God.\nIn the presence of the Universe here on Earth.\n\nAt the time, I didn\u2019t yet know\nthat a large part of my family lineage comes from Latgale.\nNow, for me, there\u2019s always something special about going there.\nThere, the houses get smaller,\nand people\u2019s hearts get bigger.\nThere, in the scattered homesteads\u2014you can meet God.\nThrough people.\nThrough yourself.\nThrough those who, sometimes, are just passing by\u2026\nand invite you to walk with them.<\/p>
Today, I look back on this journey and think:\n\u201cI hope that one day I\u2019ll become the kind of person through whom lost wanderers\u2014or defiant teenagers\u2014can feel the love of the Universe\u2026 Because behind everything, there is love.\u201d\n\nMaybe it sounds a little clich\u00e9 or overly sweet,\nbut it\u2019s exactly this awareness that helps me grow\u2014\nto become a better instrument,\na bridge,\nor simply a more human human being.<\/p>