For a very long time in my life, I lived in complete disconnection from myself.\nIt felt like I was living entirely in my mind, unconsciously doing so much to destroy myself.\nWhile I existed in my head, my body lived a life of its own, and my heart was \u201cwalled off for safety\u201d\u2014because feeling myself was simply too painful.\n\nOnly now do I realize that my hobby was suffering, and my passion\u2014saving others.\nI believed that if I could fix everyone close to me\u2014\u201cbecause I obviously know better what they need,\u201d\nif I could \u201cheal the lineage,\u201d\nthen I would finally be able to enjoy happiness myself.\n\nMy encounter with the realization that the best thing I could do for myself, my family, and my ancestry\nwas to take responsibility for my life\u2014was disorienting.\n\nTo take my true place within the family system:\nto be a child to my parents, a mother to my child, a wife to my husband, a sister to my brothers and sister\u2026 and nothing else.\nRight now, it seems to me that this is the only path toward authenticity\u2014\nto live life from my place, accepting my parents just as they are.\n\nMaybe someday I\u2019ll think differently\u2026\n\nI\u2019ve stopped demanding elder-like wisdom from myself.\nI allow myself to make mistakes.\nI\u2019m learning about myself\u2014and about life.\n\nAt this moment, I\u2019m learning to listen to my body,\ntranslating the symptoms it expresses.\nWith the help of Bert Hellinger\u2019s method, I\u2019m exploring what it\u2019s trying to tell me through the \u201cexcess weight\u201d\u2014\ncarried through generations.\n\nI\u2019m navigating the deeply complex emotions that arise from seeking out and getting to know my father at the age of 32.\n\nAs I continue working more with systemic family constellations,\nraising our daughter together with my beloved husband,\nand navigating the journey of man and woman being together in marriage,\nI feel\u2014deeply\u2014how profoundly everything is influenced by our relationships with our parents and grandparents,\nand by the events of our family lineage.\n\nHow deeply this affects our romantic relationships,\nhow intensely we long for love,\nbut when it finally finds us\u2014\nwe put so much effort into destroying it,\nbecause deep down, we don\u2019t truly believe\nthat we\u2019re allowed to be happy.<\/p>
And so, from generation to generation, we pass on these \u201cinheritances,\u201d until the body and life itself begin to send signals through symptoms such as: relationship crises, depression, recurring events passed down through generations, life patterns that endlessly repeat, lack of money, challenges in relationships with children, work-related issues, various illnesses, and more.\n\nLife speaks loudly\u2014so that we may finally come into contact with ourselves, so that we may begin to see and to hear:<\/p>
\u201cHey, it can be different! You have to find the reason why things are the way they are. You have to see it, acknowledge it, and let it go! And then\u2014by getting to know your true self\u2014you have to feel WHAT and HOW it is that I truly want.\u201d<\/p>
I\u2019ll be happy to be truly present with you in your moments of connection.<\/p>
<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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